There is a lot written about the lives and habits of successful people everywhere. You have read many books of their habits. The 6 habits of this…. or The 9 Habits of that Successful person or Autobiographies where the writers mostly talk about the great accomplishments in length and a little about the habits that they do not have. It is this part of their life where they lack certain habits that makes them successful.
You may ask, how can not having something or a lack in personality trait make somebody successful. Well it does. Good habits you can pick up and adopt as you go along on the road to success. As you grow older, you change your mind about quite a few things about the past. A certain car that drove you crazy when you were 17 years old does nothing for you when you look at it today. Same with Places and people and clothing etc.
This is your mind telling you that it is capable of flexibility. The most important sign of a successful person to me is that he can change his mind about something but with logic and research. He is not rigid about because rigidity is the first step towards guaranteed failure. As the world changes business and opportunities change and a smart business person changes along with it. The GENIUS ones see this change coming and not only prepare for it before others, but they get themselves poised with their product and ideas before others could even begin to plan.
But…Success in business is not the only success. Success is doing what you love to do and doing it at your best and enjoying every moment of it. When weekends seem too long and you can’t wait to get back to your office on Monday, Believe me you have found your passion. The most Miserable time i spend is my weekends. I can’t wait till the Australian Markets open up and then the Pacific and then Asian and at around 6 pm Pakistan Time, the American and Canadian Markets open up. I am the happiest talking to my traders and investment banking friends and figuring out the market intelligence. And this has been my schedule since i was 20 years of age. So, whatever your passion maybe, There are a few things that you can not afford to have in your personality as a trait. These things will be the self created permanent hindrances towards your success. A lot of self help Gurus will tell you about what habits to develop but rarely have i seen any book on what habits you should not develop. Habits are developed In your mind first. Neurons Get Connected doing an activity over and over again and those Neurons find a pattern which later on, on the outwardly side is called a habit. So whenever you go to develop a new habit in your mind, there are several other habits that are already occupying your space and thoughts in your mind. These habits can be absolutely opposite of the new habits that your are trying to develop. Then it becomes a war. The older bad habits are stronger than the new trying to be developed habits…So the older habits will not allow the new ones to make room for themselves in the same house (mind). So what do you do ?
Well the younger you get to know this phenomenon, the quicker you can win. Because At an young age us human beings do not have many solidified beliefs and we are ready to change them if logic prevails. The older you become the more rigid you become…So you need to start working on it at the very next moment after you have read this article. What do you need to do ? Well lets start with 4 things you should not have in your personality as habits.
1. They Have No Pessimism.
You could be a genius throughout your educational life and guaranteed a good job and a great salary but let me also guarantee along with the salary that you will never become a leader because a leader looks at a situation as a challenge and a challenge is to be solved. He does not look any problem big or small and immediately says to himself…oh boy…this one is not possible. It can not be done. I have seen so many people try to do it but failed. Thus I will FAIL as well. An optimistic person faced with the same problem will take a deep breath, engage his positive thinking, evaluate knowing that it has not been done before but he says to himself that just because they were not able to do it, does not mean i can not do it either. Let me see what they were doing wrong and begin by not doing that. Impossible tasks give him the most amount of fun and energy. This is what he thrives on. Because this is where he can work at his mind’s optimum potential. He looks for such opportunities. He has NO PESSIMISM in him. Yes, he does weigh his options of pros and cons but does not give up. He finds a way. So the first trait a successful person does not have is PESSIMISM or negativity.
2. They Have No Ego.
A successful person does not have an ego. To him the world is not about “I” it is rather about “we”. He builds a team of people who believe in him and his ideas. He puts their concerns before his own. He treats them exactly equally as he would treat himself. There is no hierarchy in this except the Titles on the Business cards. He just wants the project to be done. He does not care about what the outsiders are saying about him and his team. This does not concern him at all. He does not need praising for himself rather he would have team members give critique on his work. He looks forward to those moments. Since he has no ego, he has no jealousy in him either. He does not care who is getting ahead or who has what. His eyes are set on his goals BUT he prays for others success even his enemies. Jealousy can never get you your own success because what you dont want others to have, your subconscious mind will never work towards getting you that thing you detest. Think good for others and their success. Truly from your heart. That makes Allah Happy and a Happy Allah will give you more than you deserve.
3. They Are Not A Networking Kind of People.
You may say to me that in this day and age of everybody talking about social networking and increasing the number of people you know, how can i say that networking is a disastrous activity. yes It Is. And it is because the people who you are networking with also know that you are only there to make pleasant talk and they also know that you would be calling them in the future for some deal or a favour. How could you like a person who has ulterior motives the moment he meets you ? Have you ever seen a leader networking? NO. Its the leader Wanna_be people who want to network with leaders and the leaders see right through them. True leaders genuinely care about people. They are people living individuals. There networking is vertical. They know a waitress at a cafe and the owner of that cafe at the same time. They call people to see just how they are doing. They send them Eid Cards and visit them at the hospitals if they are sick. They remember the children’s names and which classes they are in. And they concentrate on one person at an occasion. They dont walk around handing out there cards and asking what do you do for a living. They dont. Its considered cheezy in a circle where i belong to. The top Echelon of the Business Communities. So instead of trying to pass on 50 cards to 50 people who will throw them away the moment they get home, meet one person, ask him questions, show interest in his life only, learn from him and walk away without giving him a card. He will remember you more because iof the things you spoke about then from your card.
4. They Do Not Talk About Others
Yes. Successful people don’t Talk about others. Specially in a bad way and rarely talk about their own accomplishments because they don’t have ego and they are not jealous. Yes, if they see or hear somebody discouraging some young man, they will cut in and motivate that youth by their positive talk because they are not pessimistic and dislike people who are. Get rid of these habits FIRST and only then can you even take the first step towards your goals. All the books in the world,, all the degrees from Ivy League universities and all the inherited wealth can not make you a successful leader because you need certain traits in your personality that Universities will not teach you. Universities do not teach you how to handle yourself once you have graduated. You have to learn all these things from other sources. University Life maybe 4, 6 or maximum 8 years if you are doing your Ph.D., But your professional life is 45 years… So choose the battle… and choose it carefully. If you think your learning ends at the university, consider it your end of intellectual growth.
Author: Mir Mohammad Ali Khan